In life we all have interactions with negative or toxic people. How can we most efficiently and skillfully deal with them?
The most effective way would be to avoid them, but this is not always possible or desirable. You might try to ignore them, but since we are human, we are social creatures and do care what others think and feel. This approach may often make us feel bad.
For the sake of this article I have divided negative people into two types:
The emotional parasite or spiritual vampire and the aggressive negative person.
First I will identify these types of individuals, then I will suggest methods and techniques on how to handle them.
THE EMOTIONAL PARASITE OR SPIRITUAL VAMPIRE
These people drain all the positive energy out of you. They are sad negative pessimistic people who no longer appreciate the beauty of life. They are the drama kings and queens. They want your empathy, sympathy and support but will never listen to your advice, not enough to change their behavior anyway. When you see their number come up on your phone it is a real drag.
They may listen to you during your hard times, but only because it makes them feel better about themselves. They are never satisfied.
They feel that life is unfair. Of course life is unfair, always has been and always will be.
Expecting life to be fair is like thinking that if you don't eat the tiger, the tiger won't eat you.
HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS TYPE OF PERSON
You should make an effort to limit the time and energy you give them and instead better use that time and energy more constructively.
Negative people can only effect you, if you allow what they say or do to trigger a negative reaction in your own mind.
A helpful tool you can use to master your mind and resist people's negative attacksis meditation.
MEDITATION
For thousands of years people have practiced meditation for emotional, physical and spiritual well being.
Nowadays scientists better understand the benefits of this practice. Brain scans show that people who meditate show increased activity in the regions of the brain that directly control anxiety, depression, and pain tolerance. By meditating, you can better control these psychophysiological conditions. Meditation also increases alpha-wave activity, and even changes the shape of the brain and increases brain size. If you want to understand your mind, sit down and observe it. If you would like to try meditation, I would recommend Sam Harris' thirty minute guided meditation with atmospheric music on YouTube. Sam Harris is one of the country's top neuroscientists who has also spent years training in Tibetan Monasteries.
Another technique that you can try when negative people whine to you, is to make believe they are singing a beautiful song for you instead.
THE AGGRESSIVE NEGATIVE PERSON
The aggressive negative person is a jealous, judgemental, hostile person who often uses intimidation to satisfy their own personal agenda. They love to control what you think, do and say. When they speak to you, they do so in a demeaning and condescending manner. Since they are not content with their own life, they want to ruin yours. This type of individual likes to talk negatively about you behind your back, often ridiculing you to other people. Any idea you bring up to them, they will tell you why it won't work. They are acutely aware of all your faults and love to run over your ideas and belittle you any opportunity they get.
Sometimes they even attempt to physically intimidate you with their authority or power over you.
One of the worse scenarios would be if that individual is your Boss.
HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THE NEGATIVE PERSON
Since the aggressive negative person feels better about themselves and their life, by demeaning you and crushing your spirit, it is imperative to have the physical and mental skills and tools to be able to resist their psychological and emotional attacks. Neutralize them in your mind. You don't have to buy into their negativity. Here are some skills and tools you could use to accomplish this.
STUDY ZEN
There is a reason that the Japanese Samurai adopted zen principles and practices. It allowed them to accept death and appreciate even the most minor things that happened during their day. The Samurai had to live this way because they were never sure whether or not they would be killed the next day.
Zen allows a person to control their mind. Study Zen my friend!
STUDY SOME FORM OF MARTIAL ART
When people practice martial arts, they re-enact a life and death struggle everytime they train. Every other daily confrontation seems insignificant compared to that struggle. Martial Arts teaches a person to push themselves, conquer their fears and become self-sufficient.
God forbid your encounter with this aggressive person becomes physical or violent, you will have a better chance of protecting yourself.
PREPARE YOUR BODY AND MIND FOR STRESS
If you eat healthy, exercise regularly and sleep well, your body and mind will be better able to handle stress and therefore, enable you to withstand the emotional attack presented to you by the aggressive, negative person.
CONCLUSION
You are the architect of your own life. Try to avoid people who turn off your smile. Remember who you spend your time with is who you become.
If you can't find the people that you hold in high regard, then become the person that you and others would respect.
Stand up for yourself.
About the Author
http://www.privateinvestigatorny.com
